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The evil rich capitalists at the NY Times

June 29, 2011

The Grey Lady is evil!  She is keeping the working man under the chains of an oppressive capitalist system that strives to break the back of the middle-class while propping up itself on the pennies and nickels of the working class.  As a monopolistic exploiter, she and her cronies in government are exploiting the weak and undefended of this great nation, all for the bottom-line.

Wow, who knew I was such an enlightened member of society?  I never did, until the socialist monster in me was awakened by the Times this morning, you see, they actually EXPECT me to PAY for their services.  HOW DARE THEY! [apparently you can only view 20 articles a month without paying]

Don’t they understand in the New World, we work according to our abilities and receive according to our need?  Well, I need to read the Times (for material to bash them, but that’s beside the point), and I refuse to pay for something that should be free.  It is information, they are the fourth branch (or is it the fifth column?  I get the two confused sometimes) of government – how dare a profit motive get in the way of my right to their hard work?

This is just more capitalist oppression.  How is the working man supposed to learn of the evil rich white dudes trying to murder his children if we can’t have access to the news?

Back in the day, I would just steal a Times from my neighbor’s doorstep (he had more than enough money to buy another one), but in today’s age, with the greening of the earth, I can’t condone reading such an antiquated vehicle of information as a physical newspaper, its unconscionable (my damn neighbor, the evil rich capitalist swine needs to cancel his subscription too) so I have resorted to the digital version.  But now they insist I pay for it!

Let’s just say, because of their greed, the Times has lost a loyal and faithful reader of their “newspaper”.  Let’s see how they like the flip-side of capitalism, when the consumer has the power to hurt their wallet!

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. June 29, 2011 1:56 pm

    Fleece– according to your need, you simply steal a Kindle that has a subscription. Stealing newspapers is so yesterday.

    • June 29, 2011 2:13 pm

      Ahh, very good my friend. Off to Starbucks I go!

  2. Dr. Tickles permalink
    June 29, 2011 3:04 pm

    Fleece—You are so biased in your opinions. We all know the Times is heading downhill–how could you deprive them of such a pittance. You should be more like me, understanding, pleasant, non-contradictory, affable, friendly, unequivocally fair minded when it comes to Obama and the Times. Most of all, I am kindhearted to all Liberals. See I capitalized Liberal just to show my affection.

    Dr T.

    • June 29, 2011 5:19 pm

      I can’t help it, those capitalist swine! I firmly believe I am entitled to any and all fruits of anyone’s labor who I deem luckier than me. That is the only socially just solution to the ills that plague this horrid country.

  3. Dr. Tickles permalink
    June 29, 2011 3:05 pm

    Oh Yeah. Thanks for the Pingback–Ron

    • June 29, 2011 5:19 pm

      My pleasure. =)

  4. June 29, 2011 3:39 pm

    Damn that evil New York Times. This has got to be Sarah Palin’s fault! Who else would turn a good liberal like the New York Times into a raving capitalist?

    • June 29, 2011 5:20 pm

      I never thought about that! You are absolutely correct, the Times would never do this of their own volition, what would Krugman think?

  5. June 29, 2011 3:53 pm

    LOLZ

    you can’t make anticapitalist arguments against anticapitalists, it makes to much dang sense

    • June 29, 2011 5:21 pm

      =)

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