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More pollution necessary to halt global warming

July 5, 2011

Asia pollution blamed for halt in warming: study – chicagotribune.com.

Finally!  I was hoping the climate scientists would come up with an explanation for the halt in global warming over the last decade.  Never fail, they have crunched the numbers, finessed statistics, consulted the Magic 8-ball and developed a fully plausible reason:

Smoke belching from Asia’s rapidly growing economies is largely responsible for a halt in global warming in the decade after 1998 because of sulfur’s cooling effect, even though greenhouse gas emissions soared, a U.S. study said on Monday.

See, the problem has been that carbon emissions from greenhouse gasses has grown by a third, but temperatures haven’t moved from 1998-2008, and that has been a serious debating point for the flat-earthers out there who dare to deny the “science” behind global warming, err….climate change.  Apparently the “scientists” have taken a book out of the FDR administration and resorted to the old fall-back – blame the Asians!

To really wrap your head around this newest theory it takes some mental gymnastics.  Here is how it works.  The evil Asians have been burning a lot of coal as they seek to emerge from the third-world hell-hole their embracing of socialism has subjected them to, the sulfur from that coal has sort of made a “shell” of sulfur atoms that bond with water molecules to make clouds that reflect sunlight back into space, resulting in a cooler planet.

Okay, that’s only part one of the theory, step two is the killer.  As Asia seeks to follow the environmentalist’s dreams, hopes and prayers by limiting its carbon output, this “shell” will necessarily disappear, resulting in the continuance of humanity’s march towards global warming death!

Here is an interesting quote from the article:

“The post 1970 period of warming, which constitutes a significant portion of the increase in global surface temperature since the mid 20th century, is driven by efforts to reduce air pollution,” it said.

So…would I be wrong if I blamed global warming on the EPA?  Or green peace?  Or…Al Gore?

It seems to me that this report suggests more pollution can truly make “this [sic] the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal”.  So everyone join hands with me, fire up your monster trucks or stoke a tire-fire in your backyard, and lets get this done!  The polar bears are depending on you.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. Otis P. Driftwood permalink
    July 5, 2011 2:00 pm

    HAHA. Doncha just know the Goreacle Worshipers are having hissy fits over this. The Irony!! The Humanity!!

    • July 5, 2011 3:24 pm

      LOL.

  2. July 5, 2011 2:15 pm

    Satire is the only effective tool when dealing with fools.

    I enjoyed your global warming rational, but I don’t think the “inventor of the Internet” will.

    • July 5, 2011 3:29 pm

      Oh well, I have seen Al Gore speak, when you have such heady issues as “saving the world” constantly on your mind you take little joy out of small pleasures.

  3. JustFacts permalink
    July 5, 2011 3:08 pm

    It just proves that they don’t have a clue as to what REALLY causes climate change. If they did, they would have been able to predict this. They use the same models to predict the weather for the day after tomorrow. We know how accurate they are in those predictions, so why would we think that they can predict the climate 100 yrs from now? Oh, I forgot. The science is settled, so we don’t even need to try to look at it logically. The Book of Gore has told us all we need to know.

    • July 5, 2011 3:32 pm

      That’s the main thing, they have no clue. Yet we allow them to frame the debate as them vs. a few flat-earthers. The truth is, its them vs. people who don’t want to do anything till we have evidence that motivates us to. Obviously the science isn’t settled, or they wouldn’t keep coming up with these new theories to support their old theories on an almost daily basis. I just want them to wait till the science is at least a little less hopping, not going full bore to socialism to protect the world. But that’s always been the goal anyway hasn’t it?

  4. July 6, 2011 1:43 pm

    This was a funny article. Honestly, once you start lying about the causes of something you’re stuck as the facts become available!

    • July 6, 2011 4:57 pm

      Yeah, they just keep digging the hole deeper and deeper. You can just imagine them thinking how they are gonna spin this.

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